Friday, October 22, 2010

Foster Mom Responds

(I just received this. Hey, gang! I don't know anything about the details of this case and likely will not pursue it. But, here you have a foster woman who somehow thinks I don't appreciate what fosters do. Indeed, there is a place for fostering and I understand that and I appreciate that. But, on the other hand, the state law says we are to place with qualified biological family first. That is the law. It is not always being followed.)

Mrs. Roach, It is obvious how one sided you are to post the above comment that has nothing to do with the Parks case and not post the comment I left yesterday. Please post both sides! I get that you don't like CPS and I completely agree. The system is so broken down and mixed up that kids will only continue to get hurt. However, there are great foster homes out there. We have not ever "bought" a child, any that we have sent back to family or the 2 we adopted. In fact, the $423 per month we receive for a child's basic care is almost laughable. That works out to about $1.50 per hour...to clothe, feed, drive to visitations etc. That also is how we are supposed to buy diapers and formula. Consider please, the hardest job you have ever had...how much hourly did you make? Now, consider what I do...I take newborn babies through drug withdrawl. They scream in agony and can't handle stimulation. If they do get over stimulated they projectile vomit and tremor. I don't get paid bathroom breaks or lunch, no days off, no union protecting my rights. You get the idea.
You can't make a difference with a closed mind. If you want to see change you have to engage people and inspire them to also make a difference. In four and a half years my husband and I have talked with numerous people and have had 7 fellow Christian families...all wonderful people, get involved with the foster system. Please get past your negative view of foster homes and be thrilled knowing that at least some of the kids in the system are better off where they are then they could be anywhere else. "Kristen" is such a child. Did the Parks tell you that they don't believe the bio dad molested the girls, even though the older girls were who reported him and led to his conviction? Did they tell you that because they don't believe, they would allow him contact with "Kristen", potentially making her a victim of sexual abuse? Did they tell you that the foster family has been this child's home for nearly 2 years? Please do some research on attachment disorders; you will see that it would be detrimental to this sweet little girl's life to yank her out of the only home she knows. The Parks are being selfish; they want her and will do and say anything to get her. She is not a posession. She doesn't belong to anyone, but she at a very minimum deserves to stay with a loving home, with the people she calls mom and dad, to continue to grow and thrive in a safe environment. This is a reasonable family that engaged with the Parks and Louise screwed it up. Louise needs to step back and for once, put her niece first.

Momof20

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow....where do all fosters get the feeling they walk on water. Is it the state that tells them that? Don't hide behind your "church going" lifestyle, and include all your other clones with you. You are seeking that pat on the back for your part. Well let me tell you, your part has not helped! YOU will have caused the RAD with this child.You will have her labeled "special-needs" so you can extort an unreal amount on your goal of adoption.When you are on the other side of the fence, and you very well could be, this crap can happen to anyone,you may feel a little different, because you see you are no different, you to are broken like CPS, you just feel you can fill that void with someone elses child! YOU encouraged her to call you "mom and Dad" YOU take the money the state payes and then cries"it's not enough" YOU have kept this child and at least 2 others from their rightful family.YOU are detrimental, and your narrow-mindedness will cause this child trauma for the rest of her life! YOU have passed judgement on this and at least two other families.What church did you say you belonged to? I'm sorry, you serve who? Not the all mighty man above, I can tell that from your letter! So maybe when you done patting yourself on the back, you can remove your head from your ass, and figure out how to support REUNIFICATION,not REACTION ATTACHMENT DISORDER!

Anonymous said...

Dear Senator,
I hear what the foster mom is saying and the problem is that s lot of these children that are taken are perfectly happy children. I do know that there are some that are better off but that is not the case with ours and others that I personally know of.
We raised our little girl from the age of 3 months to the age of almost 5 years and yes, I would agree, that to take a child away from the only parents that they have ever known is detrimental to the child. So is this why our child was taken, who by anybody that knew her, their testimony would be, they had not seen a happier child and now this same child needs therapy because of what the state has done to her and yes she does have "Attachment Disorder".
I never have gotten, from reading Senator Roach's blog that she is one sided and totally does not like foster care providers, on the contrary she just thinks that the state should do what is right and if there are family members available to take their family then they should be able to keep these children in the family.
I agree that if you are a Foster Care provider that you have some income to help with these children, but why if you truly want the child do you need compensation after you adopt them? Adoption is different than being a foster care provider. I could certainly see if a child needed a lot of medical care that they be helped with that. I do know that their are good foster care providers but I also know from what I have been told by Social Workers and CASA's that their are plenty of ones that are not good and that are more harmful to the children than their own home.
Respectfully

Anonymous said...

To Christian woman: All I can say is because of your experiences; I would say your judgement is clouded. Please remember that you are bringing up worst case scenarios. Obviously, what would it take for you to call a Catholic family wonderful? What would it take for you to call a family that perhaps doesn't go to church but believes in God wonderful? Just what would it take for you to call a family you have never met wonderful? I have faith in people my judgement is not so clouded as yours yet you do bring up scenarios for the public to consider. However, the bottom line is that it is the tax payer that pays. That is the bottom line. The tax payer is starving and broke. That's the bottom line!

Miss Sugar said...

I appreciate this post. I do know a few good foster parents in washington state that have been mistreated along side the bio parents. If the state is going to screw over both sides , what about the kids????

I am grateful to the foster parents that somehow managed to cope with the social workers and state drivers the entire time they had my children. I know how hard it must have been to keep quiet about the injustices they observed first hand. I know that the foster parents watched in agony as my kids cried for each other, my husband and I and my parents.

It takes a strong person to clean up the messes of the state and in some cases the parents.

God bless

Miss Sugar said...

Oh yes and what about the fosters bio children that LOVED my children as their own siblings? Who is going to stick up for them?

See this is cruel all the way around.

Anonymous said...

First of all, $423 is not all you get. If you are dealing with special needs children, the actual cost gets negotiated up to $1800. Other costs are also covered by the state and what the state doesn't cover, special programs and grants do. There is more money being poured into foster care than any other program in the world. You are not being truthful about all the perks.

Secondly, if you adopted two, those subsidies do not go away. They will continue until the children are 18 and you are STILL taking in foster kids. So, lets do some math. Figuring that both adopted children are special needs, that is probably around $2000 to $3000 per month you are receiving just for them. then add the $423 or more per foster child and you are not doing all that bad.

As far as the Parks go, who did you get the info from about them? The honest, sincere sociopathic case worker? I want to hear this from the Parks. True enough, some people are naive about sexual abusers and put children at risk but I don't think you know the truth but are just parroting false information from the department.

Anonymous said...

Continued....AND the REASON the fosters have had the child for so long is because the state is not following the law and placing the child with family in the first place.Here is an idea - how about the state quit tearing apart lineage.

Anonymous said...

I have reviewed all DSHS records in this case. Not sure who this foster parent is getting her info from but she is either a child horder or naive! The father was never convicted for molesting any child! That is an outright slanderous agenda seeking lie. The child xxxxx is a blond haired, blue eyed 3 year old beautiful little girl! Sound familar Readers?
I also work with foster parents on a regular basis. When they are wrongly accused it is far easier to clean their slate than a real parent who has been placed in the same position.
In this case this child was relinquished by her parents with the assumption she would be adopted by family. On record in court transcripts. hard copies filed in court files have them all! This is common practice from what I have seen. Easy case relinquished suposed to be a happy ending for all. Then there is a child even at 3 they remember forever. Then there is the parents who think they have done the right thing and their baby will be with family. Then there is the family that does not get those adoption cost reimbursements like foster adopt people do(since this letter is mostly based on the money part NOT LOVE)thought I would throw that in.. They are devestated shocked that someone could actually claim their flesh and blood as if they have some God given right!
I am appaled at this whole case. I would love to be able to splash the wole truth but It will be splashed. Remember the Stuth case. Blond haired , blue eyes, and 3.

Anonymous said...

Having been a WIC client I can tell you that the local WIC offices are full of foster parents. They get free formula. When this foster mother speaks of all the costs and added the formula in. She made me see that She is a Liar at least about the formula. And from what I hear the milage reiumbursement isn't bad either.
Sounds like this foster parent is so concerned about her hourly wage She obviosly relates to parentage in a monetery thing. Sad I pray that one day she will truley know the true love and joy of being a real mother

Anonymous said...

To mom of 20:

If only you knew the sacrifice that "real mothers" go through to provide for their children. You are not one of those "mothers". You write to Senator Roach to treat you the same way and complain and yet you refuse to "go to work" and earn a living to raise your own children as you claim that you are their "real mom and dad". Then go to work and support your own children which you brought into this world! Sacrifice like the rest of us! You would be called "lazy", you would be called "good for nothing low-life scumbags", you would be called "spoiled", you would be told it is the "poor choices you made in life". You would be called a lot of things but the last thing a "real mother and father" can do is write to Senator Roach and complain about diaper money! You ought to be ashamed of yourself!

Anonymous said...

"It would be detrimental to yank the girl from the only home she`s known for 2 years." WOW! Isn`t that the main subject (the emotional state) when it comes to children having been with their relatives for that amount of time and then yanked?
I believe foster homes are needed but only for the children that don`t have approved relatives to take them. Look at the Stuth case. It`s those type of cases Senator Roach fights for. It sounds to me like the work you do with babies is wonderful but please don`t turn a blind eye to the fact that small children are being stolen from their family members so the state can profit from them.
And I believe very strongly if this little girl being talked about can`t go back to her family and be safe then she should stay with the foster family who has her.

Anonymous said...

We need our 14th. amendment rights to protect real parents from people like you.

Anonymous said...

This foster "mother", is a good example of why we need to re-establish orphanages. She is so concerned that she is being put upon, no breaks, no lunch, no union. Yet,she wants to be considered the mother! Does she think the taxpayers owe her something? Perhaps she even thinks the children owe her something.
It would be much better for the taxpayers, the children and society in general if the children were put into orphanages. Then they they would be taken care of by trained people.The children could avoid having to put up with emotional people who want to be considered the parent, but want the State to remove any difficulty thay are having in raising the child.

Anonymous said...

I think that your reader should check out the statistics even though we all agree that there are fewer good foster homes than bad. She needs to look outside her box. I'm not saying this to be mean to her. I just know. I have done my research and others have done it for me. In the past two yrs following Sen Roach's blog,I do not see her criticizing ALL foster homes. Glad that you get it that she does not like CPS.Neither do I,and many others.
What would YOU do if your children were raped and abused in foster care? Well,I researched. And learned there are more bad foster homes than good. Unfortunately.

Anonymous said...

LOL Foster moms narcissism speaks for itself. Do real families receive any renumeration for parenting, why yes "LOVE." But that never seems enough for Fosterer's...
She does engage in the usual biological family assassination. It always amazes me that foster parents never seem to notice that each year in North America one million biological families are falsify accused of child abuse and neglect...
Their children are taken most never returned.
These are the children in foster care!
STOP THE FRAUD OF CPS CHILDREN ARE NOT STATE COMMODITIES.

"Lovingfitfather"

Anonymous said...

Parental rights are the important thing. If someone is going to fight for the rights of relatives to take the children, I want proof that they first fought for the rights of parents. Otherwise they could easily be pro CPS.
This gives CPS the right to interfere into the affairs of the entire family. Also cost them, the family, lots of money, and of course it could all be for naught.
We don't need foster welfare recepients, we need orphanages.

Anonymous said...

A real family begins at conception. In no way, shape or form were you involved at the time of conception. You belittle, demean motherhood. A real family sacrifices each and every day of their lives. A real family doesn't have the support of the government. They are on the receiving end of policies. However, you are jaded and fail to talk about other scenarios (stories that do not involve what you are describing and babies and children are taken away by CPS). Nor are you acting in the best interest of children who have been hurt by the system NOR DO YOU EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE that children have been hurt nor do you care. You are one dimensional! You are demeaning the sacrifices that family must make in order to often survive in this world. You bring up points in this story; however, you are ignorant of stories where grandparents have been giving the go ahead to care for grandchildren.

Anonymous said...

Foster mother: You fail to consider so many points in your story that a person can't even begin to point our where you are inconsistant with your thought process. You do bring up worst case scenarios. However, ask yourself and I think you admit that some of these "drug" addicted babies are returned. So, what we are saying is under what circumstances should a family be banned from being called a family? Is this such a case in your mind? But what about other stories?. Other stories where parent's did NO HARM to their baby and yet you treated them in the same manner or worse by banning all contact simply because you want the new family to be a family. Is that right (in the best interest; is that right in your mind?). You can't be blinded in your thoughts. You are violating the 14th Amendment and unless you treat all people the same by banning all families from being a family then you are in violation of constitutional and civil rights of some families.

Anonymous said...

This little girl is not being put first by the Biological family. If they wanted to put her first, they would do what is best for her. Leave here were she is!!! That is called sacrificial love. She has been with a loving, supportive family for 2 years! 2 YEARS!!!!! If this biological family rips her from her foster parents, they will do her GREAT HARM!!!!!! Stop being so selfish Biological family! If you really loved her you'd leave her and her new family ALONE. I speak from experience. My biological mother gave me up for adoption because she loved me more then she loved herself. And she would have fought to keep me with my adoptive parents if anyone in her family had tried to take me back. She did what was best for me. Parks family, show your true love, give this child up! How dare you refer to her as having Stockholm syndrome, the fact that you'd even say that is proof enough to me and probably to the judge that you are really screwed UP!!! Oh my how horrible, she is happy, obedient, forgiving child.... this child must be really in trouble...oh please! What's unconscionable? This Parks family! I'm outraged!

Anonymous said...

Biological has nothing to do with this. This judge is looking out for the best interests of the child, not the best interests of the biological or the foster family. Biology means nothing!!!! Unconditional love... that means everything. This reminds me of the story of wise King Solomon and the 2 women who came before him, both claiming to be the child's mother. I pray that this judge will have the wisdom of King Solomon in this.

Anonymous said...

ok so you receive a small stipend for all of your efforts thus you are a paid babysitter and not and I mean this NOT FAMILY.

Anonymous said...

cont...my grandchild is also blonde and blue-eyed. Have you heard the latest?... apparently a mandate from the federal government? I was told by an attorney that workers are going to be mandated to remove all non-custodial, biologicals from family homes. I do not want to believe this, but taking into account their record? ...the question, "when?"