Saturday, March 28, 2009

Attachment Disorder

Attachment Disorder starts with a huge sense of grief within the child. Think of little Lilly rocking back and forth in the car seat. And, instead of having someone she loves comforting her she is threatened by being told if she does not stop crying she will not see her grandmother.

It is safer and easier for Lilly to detach herself from the love rather than hang on to it. (This is Dr. Pam speaking. Just a little common sense here. (I say this to put the DSHS shrinks back to attention. They can't stand it when I am right.)

I knew a man by the name of Paul O. Snyder. He was one of the conservative stalwarts of 25 years ago. Former State Senator and King County Councilman Kent Pullen introduced me to him. Paul was executive director of Citizens Taxpayers Association. I am sure he has passed.

Turns out Paul was a strict parent and his teenage daughter did not want to live in the house under his rules any more. So, at 16 years old she went to the school counselor and asked to be removed and placed in foster care. That was what happened.

Not too much time had gone by when the Snyder family noticed a big change in her. Turns out she was receiving counseling from the government.

Paul won a major case against the State of Washington. The state was found to have committed alienation of affection. There was a financial award for the Snyder family. And, the case is still in textbooks across the country. But, they lost their daughter through the counseling that was given her by the government. The counselor told her that her parents belief in God, tight rules of no dating know the story...they were bad and terrible parents.

CPS uses alienation of affection to achieve a diagnosis of attachment disorder. It is part of how they approach the they have learned they can succeed in stealing a child to give it to someone else.

The following was sent to me yesterday and reminded me of the Snyder family:

"It isn't that difficult to know whether to remove or not to remove a child. Look around and see if the child is in eminent danger of mental or bodily harm that can not be corrected with the help of CPS. This is the only reason a child is to be removed from their home. If the parents are involved in drugs the child is in danger. If there is no food, give the family food stamps, if they need money management skills, teach them, if it is parenting skills enroll them in parenting classes.
I think everyone should know by now that it only takes 3 moves in foster care for some children to develop attachment disorder. It is not a culture or social issue it is what is in the best interest of the child."

Lola Bailey, President
National Committee of Grandparents
For Children's Rights
National Director
866-624-9900 Toll Free
304-652-4587 Home


Anonymous said...

Rock on Lola...common sense.....the problem is noone in the system has a brain, much less a heart!

Feminist Martron said...

Hey you, just catching up on your blog, I've been busy trying so desperately to find help for my sons.

This detachment disorder hits me right in the heart. It's because of CPS's marketing my children as potential money making machines, that I am losing my sons emotionally and psychologically.

The more time they spend with their father, who's been diagnosed with a serious personality disorder and who's abusive, the more they pull away from me. My oldest especially.

My oldest rarely lets me hug him anymore and when he does, his body tenses up and it's not a long one. He no longer initiates conversations and spaces me totally out when I try to engage with him. The more I push to keep a bond with him, the more he pushes me away.

My youngest is starting to go the way of his oldest brother. The difference with him is that during the times that I try to get close to him, there's a certain point where he no longer is able to handle it and he becomes angry. When this happens, he becomes defiant against me or he ends up physically hurting me one way or the other.

It's an endless painful and frustrating battle for me. I only get them four days a month, so this does not leave them enough time to detox from the physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual abuse they fearfully endure while at their dad's.

The last time I had them, the things they reported to me about what is going on with them while at their dad's crushes my entire being and scares the hell out of me...and I would die to be able to depend on CPS to protect my sons, yet I can't depend on them.

For the readers here that didn't see my other comments to Senator Roach's blog...the last time I called CPS to help me protect my sons, turned out to be nightmare for my boys. They got beat for telling me about the abuse that is happening with them by their dad and his wife.

I expressed to CPS that they would have to do a few repeat visits with my sons at their school, to build trust so they would open up...and I clearly begged them not to let their dad know that the boys were talking to them, until a safety plan was set up for my sons.

The Social Worker only spoke with each of my sons, separately for a few minutes each....and then called their father to schedule a home visit to talk about what was being alleged...which of course gave time for their father and his wife to groom my sons to be on their best behavior and pretend like nothing wrong was going on. The Social Worker only got to see this all American apple pie family.

But, as soon as the Social Worker left, both of my sons were made to drop their pants, bend over their dad's lap and spanked hard 30 times each, that left raised wounds and bruises for days, while being reminded that they are to keep their mouths shut or that it will be worse the next time. Since then, there's been a major change in my sons...they are more guarded and distant with me and I only pray it doesn't get worse.

I want so bad to go back to CPS to get them to help, but I can't risk getting them involved again, for fear of the safety of my sons being risked. But, what scares me even more is that if my sons end up getting broken bones or half dead at the hands of their abuser, and they find out that I did not report earlier events of abuse, then I am found guilty of child neglect, for not reporting it!!!!!!!!!

There is a NO WIN here, except for the sick abuser and CPS!!!!!! When I called CPS to get in their faces for how they handled this last situation, I was treated like crap and reprimanded for the way I got angry at them, and then they threated that if I reported anymore that they could report that I made false statements and that it could end me up losing my visitation rights with my sons.

Meanwhile, my sons live in their hell without any hope of escape. And, to avoid having all contact with them stripped away, I have to choose not to contact CPS for now. This is totally insane!!!! This is not how it's supposed to be. One day all these people that are partners in this corrupt system are going to get old...while being placed in nursing homes or whatever...the children they damaged by not helping them are going to be the adults that will be in charge of the care and control over them...and they will be sorry.

I desperately need help from CPS. Since they are the only agency that I have to seek help from, I am suck using them. But, if I dare go to them, I want to go personally to their office instead of calling them, and bring along someone that they will know who has clout or the ability to expose them if they do not do their job right this time. But, where can I go to find such a person?

Again, the father of my sons have a serious mental disorder and he is an outright sick abuser...HE IS NEVER GOING TO GET BETTER....there is NO SUCH PROGRAM TO HELP HIM BECOME A BETTER's only going to get worse for my sons! I am begging for anyone reading my plea for help, that has the power to make CPS feel obligated to protect my sons in order to protect their name, to offer to go with me to do this....before it's too late for my sons!

Please, somebody care enough about my sons to do this!

infinite freedom said...

This is perhaps the sickest part of why they get away with it. They can coax a child into anything. And they practice many, many forms of this torture on every child in every case. So they can go into court and say "Dylan says that he doesn't want to see his mother, and I have to respect that". That is a direct quote from a Mrs. Gillen, Dylans social worker. Of course, Dylan has not seen us in three years. He has post traumatic stress disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, and detachment disorder. All a reaction to what they have done to him. There is nothing wrong with him, and he still loves us all. But he has to live in the world that he has been given. Hell by any other name. He is only eight.